Straight from the bottle

TO be given one's own medicine is such a bittersweet experience. And to think that this has been a recurring theme of my life for the past two months, it really feels like Nemesis or Karma or whoever entity is discharged with righteous retribution is shoving it up in spades. To think that I've never been a fan of her form of justice.

I still believe in the cumulative effects of doing good and evil, that's causality talking. But having the effects bear an eerie resemblance to the cause is another bag of chips entirely. The most recent issue/case-in-point/predicament is with a very close friend of mine who one day decided to clam up and not spill a detail about him recently. All I have is a gut feel (telling me that there's something definitely wrong) and a series of uhhs, emoticons and wala namans. To think that this is what I did before to other friends, just to see if they will just eat it all up or at least make the effort to check what really is happening.

Speaking of other friends, my attachment to some of them has begun to border on to obsession or utter dependency. As if I wished to make a few people bear the weight of my world - something that I personally bemoaned from the actions of my best friend. And in truth, one of these people came forward and told me that. It's not that I'm not aware, I said, but I'm stuck here and no one has come forward to extend a hand or two. But I realized right after that there were people that helped me, just not the ones I expected to. So I continued my bitch spiral while waiting - what a surefire way to get rid of negative emotions, yes?

After several game-changers these past eight weeks, I'm not really wondering why I'm running the full gamut of possible human (and possible simian and bestial) emotions. What am I surprised about, actually, is that I'm not a raving lunatic, getting myself drunk just to get a chance to punch a random dude.

Well, guess I'm starting to patch things up, along with a bad case of the colds. Just a few more loose ends.