Day 3: 5 Questions I usually ask myself

I wasn't able to post yesterday. Crummy, I wanted to do this in a row.
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Why are you so indecisive about things that matter to you? I think of what other people too much when thinking about decisions that affect my life (primarily romance related) such that in order not to hurt anyone else, I will take the path of least casualties (read: myself) and be a fence-sitter. Really, sometimes it's a wonder what - or who - am I waiting for.

Can you stop being sexually charged for a while here? The one thing I can attribute to hormones and youth is not exactly appealing to me. I mean, I like the deed as much the next person but its hurtful that I'm prejudiced in this manner (read: people think I will hump a lamppost). I have friends that frown upon it so much that they actually get angry at me as if I'm a miscreant and should be turned into an amoeba. This line of thought has been nagging me for so long that I have sometimes thought that there might be something wrong with me.

What would happen if I die today? Let's get something out if the way - I am NOT suicidal. It's just that, if I die, will anyone other than my family remember me? Will I get to really have the people around me say what they really thought/think of me? Will someone cry? Will the people that I wish will care about my death will? Would have I left the people that I love that ,yes, I have loved them to the best of my heart and abilities?

What would happen if a life-changer happened in my life today? I always play with the what-ifs. Super-powers, loads of money, amnesia, parallel worlds - name it, and I might have created a scenario about it. Maybe it's due to boredom or I feel something lacking in my life.

Am I loved?  In truth, this questions popped frequently only recently, when game-changers happened. I have anchored myself to few people to support my still-broken self and when one of them fall, I am sent to a sudden feeling of getting the carpet yanked off my feet. But then, this is the one question that I can answer, yet I don't believe still. I am loved but not in the way I wanted.