24.10.11

The Biggest Con

I can truly say that this is the worst period of my life (academically). A fourth flunk on a lab course withheld my graduation till Oct 2012, it also dismissed my from my department.

What a mess have I gotten myself into this time?

This would still be livable had it not been for my parent's firm belief that I have already graduated - and I do not have the heart to break the bitter truth. Had this been just a personal issue, I would've shrugged it off as a duck shrugs water, however, the rules changed when my mom uttered the phrase "matagal na naming inaasam-asam" (direct quote, just to emphasize the magnanimity of the situation). Thus, I shall find work, pay my taxes, and do what normal college graduates with a job are doing, while sending myself to school as well. As well as minimizing any evidence of such in front of my parents.

Complicated enough, yes? Now let us add another factor into this little mix: as a fellow breadwinner by that time, I will foot part of the bill for both my sister's debut and my parents' silver. These two events are less than three months apart. From now until the time comes, I must raise enough money for these two momentous events in my family's history as well as do everything in the previous paragraph.

So begins the biggest, year-long con I hope to implement.

Sacrilegious it must be, but may the Lord help me with this endeavor.

22.10.11

Changes

First off, thank You for the effort you've directed into my page. Much appreciated :D
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It's been a few days/weeks after my last convo with Bestfriend. Personally, I don't want to see him again in the near future, though I believe I'll meet him sooner rather than later. Interestingly, this tirade might have caused a flurry of changes I want to put into effect. It just felt like for more than a year, I've been putting my best foot forward into walking gaily in pace.  An illusion of perpetual movement blinded me to the adverse effects of my entropic state.

I wish for this to change.

But change is scary, and tiresome.

Maybe this line of thought was the reason for the illusion to persist. I need to move to break the bonds and reform them. Chase the shadows and accept them. To bear the truth. To pay the price.

Methinks Kiro will be an active blogger soon :P

20.10.11

Meteor Shower

Today and tomorrow, an annual schedule of wish-makers is set to arrive from the belt of the celestial hunter. Translation: Orionoids.

Just like the meteors, news feeds about them are building up in my FB wall post. And most liekly, said contacts will lie down ( preferably with friends or a lover ) and watch the heavenly fireworks display with wishes in their hearts.

Though I don't want to go outside (more likely I won't have any clear vantage points to say my oohs and ahhs), my heart still has some use for those falling space-rocks. My heart is in turmoil, stupid enough not to discern what it really feels that it leaves the classification to a heartless brain. My (student) life hangs in the balance, my best friend (yes Bestfriend) crossed the line and I dont know if I want him to take a respite or to take a hike. My finances area mess and I need to tell my parents that I'm staying at school for one more semester.

Im tired. But I'm afraid to tell anyone that.

Because my greatest need - that someone will come and save me - is, right now, my greatest fear as well.