Shiftless

Hey, long time no see! How's life treating you? Well, that's good then.

Me?

Uhh...

I don't know.

I'm (all-but-the-diploma) graduate. And to tell the truth, I'm scared. Terrified of the world that awaits me. Of the world that I have less control than...than I ever had before. I have no name to speak of,  no work to boost myself, even less to brag. I'm afraid that I'll just be the airhead that thinks he's made but in truth, he barely made a baby step.

And if it can;t make me feel worse, it's exactly the time that I have no one to journey with. Everyone is just behind me, or just in front. Never in step, never in sync. It's the first time that I am truly, truly, conscious of the fact that I have to fly solo.

(But that's not saying I don't get any help. I wouldn't be here if not for my guiding lights and buffering winds)

I hope it's just growing pains.

Joyeux anniversaire, mon ami.

Aguas de Mayo

It's the first of May, one that promised another month of scorching heat. The people are readying themselves for the torture they must face in order to go forward with their everyday lives. People withering in the sweltering barrage of sunray, melting people into incomprehensible puddles of sweat.

And then the rains came.

They say that the first shower of May has healing properties, as if it is a bounty of grace from heaven, ready to soothe the burning earth. The shower -no, torrent- of water that poured that afternoon was unadulterated bliss to those who received it. Children were playing in the streets, adults are watching in the eaves. Elders are catching the drips, even gamers neck-deep in computers stopped and stared a bit.

Yes, the magic of the first shower truly is...magical.

But then, need the first shower stop at the first shower? Only a blessed few enjoy the cooling rain of companionship, interspersed with the warming balm of contentment. Most of us tread with arid hearts and dried-up souls, nary wishing for a hand to hold. A cooling whisper perhaps, or even  smile that cools as it warms. Even more strangely, it is in giving these that we quench the merciless heat of of our own deserts, that we feel a little less...alone.

Do take care, and may you bring a bit of my magical May water with you. :)

Bumps

I bumped my head last night. Hard.

I was on my way home from church, merrily taunting my sister about having to step her sorta-new Hav-a-nais-as in not-really-clean-road-looking-but-close-enough pathways when it hit me. Literally. And sometimes, Karma's a bitch that parks her kwek-kwek stands in places where my head should be.

I hit my head so hard that the Guy (yes, the capitalization is intentional, but more bout him in another post) behind me heard it and I cut my head. And no, I was not in pain - I was actually chuckling since it was my first time getting bonked so hard we need to stop at the pharmacist's.

For now, I'm back at work, sporting a colored band-aid in my skull to help the cracks in my skin to heal. But then, I realized that I should've gotten more bumps than this one, that the way I'm living my life is too...insulating. Yes, I'm settling down (in a unorthodox sort of way) but I feel that way too many things have been passed up int he name of comfort and complacency. I have stopped going to places, relishing new experiences, treading new roads.

Since they say that knowing the problem solves it half way, then what's next for me?

Sneak post

T minus 210 minutes till my (hopefully) last exam of the semester....and yes, I am currently cramming a semester's worth of info in three hours (the benefit of listening to class). I had a 15 - no, 30 - minute of nothing to do so I checked Green's page for new posts. Which made me realize that for 89 days, I have not been writing down my thoughts, instead allowing them to stew in hell clutter my mind. And boy, was my landscape changed in 2012! But that's for another time. Summer's a-calling, and I can freely type at work. :)