May I Make a Major Depression Right Now

I think I just received the biggest fuck you I could get this year.

A few days ago: I asked A how was his grad preparations were (I'm still lacking 8 units due to sheer stupidity, so I want Batch 2011). A said they were well, so I followed up by asking "when's the party?" (it was just the previous night). After that he asked me to be his sub bf since his real bf is not much of a party-goer (am not as well) and I said yes, thinking that it would just be a small get-together (since I did ask him when will HIS party be)

Turns out, he invited me to the Engineering grad ball. Now, for a frustrated graduate who almost successfully dodged the grad-related hoopla since it still hurts like a biatch, getting unknowingly invited into the graduate's celebration can be ranked as the best bitchslap I can take.


 Di ko na kinayang pumasok, ang sakit isiping dapat kasama din akong nagsasaya sa loob dahil natapos ko na ang kolehiyo. Ang isiping kailangan ko pa ng labingdalawang buwan ulit bago ko makung ang lecheng diplomang yan, yung diplomang di ko alam kung maabutan ng mga taong pagaalayan kong ito. Ang makitang may nagbabago na sa buhay ng mga taong nakapaligid sayo, at naiiwan kana. At makita ang sarili mong di parin nagbabago, nakatali sa mga tanikalang ikaw rin mismo ang may akda.


Kaya para sayo A, kahit ngayon lang, tang ina mo. Di mo alam kung anong ginawa mo.

Basta ako,
nagemo,
stinalk,
may ginawa,
umuwi,
ginawan,
at nagrant.

Maaga pako mamaya, sa buhay na di ko alam ay haharapin ko pala.

Counselling 1 of 2

I didn't even realize that all this shit happened and I didn't get to post a peep. Friday, Saturday, Sunday: Emotional Roller Coaster Deluxe.

Let's start with Friday. Last Friday, I'm prepping to go to QC to get my training schedule. That left most of my morning (I'm forcing myself to sleep less) for surf, relax and lounge around. When I opened my browsers for my usual social networks (FB, PR, etc), my best friend went downstairs to the living room (best friend lost his keys last Tuesday, so he's rooming with us while his landlady's on vacation) and chatted with me. I stood up to take a shower, shutting down my laptop as well as all the browsers. So my best friend saw the other window that I used when I surf PR.

Bad decision.

I felt the change in atmosphere almost immediately, and the gaze that he gave to me has hardened substantially. I know that he knows about my PR and I thought he was okay with it (best friend wants to level it up, if you catch my drift), but noooooooooooooooooo, I'm in for a full bitch moment.

I went up to my room to nudge best friend cause we need to go by 11am to get to get there at the appointed time, 12. And I see him in my bed, sulking and saying "Mauna ka na, di na ako sasama". He even tried to hurt himself (reminds me of my ex, leche) and I ended up trying to pacify him, forcing us to leave the house past 1230. I was forced to cancel a meet up with a friend just to calm him down. Crap.

So we went there, very civil-like, and I went on with what I needed to do, i.e.: Explain why am I getting my schedule two hours after the prescribed time and pass some requirements. Around this time, another friend was badgering me on my whereabouts, since I asked him to meet me as well. I told him best friend was outside so he can go with him in the meantime. When I got to get out of the building, they were talking about something serious -- I can see it from the way they huddle suspiciously and stop when they saw me.

To cut things short, the told me that I'm hurting people (Read: best friend) because of two things: 1) My PR account and 2) My texting. So they asked me to delete my PR account, which was okay with me -- it's getting harder to find people that will just chat with you nowadays. After that, the three of us spent a normal afternoon malling and going places (with another spectacular green-eye moment) then my best friend left for work.

Now that there are only the two of us, I can rant everything, including the fact that I had a good case of BV when my friend and his boyfriend started pushing my best friend to take it to the next level. Another thing was that my best friend was acting like we're a couple, making demands well above and beyond the "best friend" designation. This is doubly unsettling since my best friend and my recent ex have uncannily similar personalities, so I felt that I didn't really end the relationship: the pressure's still there.The two of us had a long talk about it (and other stuff) and he apologized for the aforementioned intrusion.

So we both went home, with me thinking that the worst has come to pass.

Yeah right.

Pag wala talaga magawa

Sa mga oras na to, papunta/nakarating na ang kapatid ko sa China. At dahil sa pagiging bitchy bastard niya these past few weeks, eh isa lang mahihiling ko:

BWAKANANG BATA KA, TAMAAN SANA NG MALAMIG NA HANGIN YANG KUKOTE MO NG MAAYOS NAMAN NG KAUNTI! LECHUGAS, PARANG WALA KANG PAMILYA EH. KUNG DI KA TALABAN NG FREEZING TEMPERATURES NG CHINA EH MASAPAK KA DIYA SA PAG-AANGAS MO! MAKALOG LANG YANG ULO MO NG KAUNTI.

There. Pero Asa (oye, capital A) naman ako. baka makakuha lang yan ng bagong fans sa China considering na kamuha daw niya ito

...at ito (eto mas recent, ginagaya nga ni kumag eh)

...kung di lang talaga kita mahal, nagulpi na kita.

Leche.